Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Everyday is a gift

So, I work at home. I feel blessed to be able to do so. Iget to share my day with my baby and our old dog. Those two,alone, are a fulltime job. Between feedings,changing diapers, and letting the dog in and out...which can be ten times before 8 a.m....the day is full already...then, there is my artwork...which, I am starting to get on schedule with....but only after allowing myself to not feel guilty about being a sahm...once I started całling myself a wahm..things changed...

Everyday is a gift to me...for years, I wanted to do this...

For years, I spent my days doing what had to be done...which meant,teaching, in order to take care of me and mine. And having said that, I will do it again if the need or opportunity Arises. But, I gradually began to feel that I was spending my days teaching others to do what I wish I had time to do myself...this was becoming a looping thought. And it was wearing me down, spiritually, and artisticly...I was burned out...

So, when I have days, like yesterday. Days where baby is testing her lungs and the dog is testing my patience and stamina....I just think...

How lucky am I?  Iam so lucky...because, today...I got to be home with my child and hear her scream and know that she is just fine,instead of having her stuck in some daycare with people who don't really know her and I would not know her either or get to help her through her day....

And then, I get to create....for the love of creating...and not because someone needs me to show themor coax them into making something because art is required to graduate.

I do feel a sense of urgency to be productive and sell work to help my family...but I feel lucky that I am getting to do so by making art.


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