This is me....grey hair and all...wrinkles...and dark circles under my eyes...oh and notice that cute piece of string on my shoulder...nice....i just got my hair cut today...yeah, short, like i wanted it, and wedged in the back...off my neck...I've always been a "short hair girl"....and for some reason in the last year it has been like pulling teeth to get the chick or dude at the 'salon' to cut it as short as i wanted....apparently they weren't comfortable with that...weirdness....I'm taking clues from other artists who blog to just go ahead and put myself out there and do it.....put a face to the name...get my thoughts out here like everyone else...talk about making art and what it takes for me to get into the groove.....for some reason, "getting into the groove" is not easy for me...fear of failure...that's easy for me...Fear of falling on my face....that's easy....but it really sucks....
So, part of 'getting in the groove' is about finding a way to balance my life, of being a creative being and being a mom and wife.....i mean, I'm certain alot of you gals out there know what I'm talking about....living with the constant guilt of "am i doing enough for my family,' or ' my house isn't clean enough,' or ' i should really wash clothes and cook dinner' or ' i should really spend more time with the kids and hubby.' and this plagues me while trying to create.....This is something i am especially dealing with these days...the dog days of summer when kiddo and i are home....and his days at home are numbered due to him going to visit other family members, etc....
So, part of 'getting in the groove' is about finding a way to balance my life, of being a creative being and being a mom and wife.....i mean, I'm certain alot of you gals out there know what I'm talking about....living with the constant guilt of "am i doing enough for my family,' or ' my house isn't clean enough,' or ' i should really wash clothes and cook dinner' or ' i should really spend more time with the kids and hubby.' and this plagues me while trying to create.....This is something i am especially dealing with these days...the dog days of summer when kiddo and i are home....and his days at home are numbered due to him going to visit other family members, etc....juggling....
juggling emotions
juggling chores
juggling responsibilities
juggling tasks
this is what i do, every single day....
When i was working all day, the routine made it easier....things were just the way they were....kiddo went to school, i went to work...now that we are home all day...finding that routine is really hard...and i find myself filling my day with tasks and things to occupy kiddo and being exhausted at the end of the day...and then...nothing creative accomplished...and my heart feeling heavy from the anxiety of trying to accomplish so many things in one day....
I have considered giving myself a schedule, like i had when i was teaching......even considered giving myself a 'bell-schedule' or sorts so that i would get things done at certain times, like when teaching....i feel like I'm the kind of person who needs a routine in order to deal with the chaos of creativity....
part of the routine will include blogging....yeah, this is my messy table....total chaos...
and i'm ok with that....
No comments:
Post a Comment