sometimes i answer the questions there...but most of the time...like now...i need some time to process my thoughts...because...there are so many on the subject for me...
I am nearly 40....(not the least bit afraid to admit that)
and it has been, let's see...how many years since i finally completed my BFA?...(counting in my head...) well, crap....13 years....
THIRTEEN YEARS!...(deep breathe)
and in that time, i have done and been through...a lot...of stuff...and in that doing and being...there have been numerous times when i can remember exactly how i felt about NOT being able to make my art...
and the word/emotion that comes up consistently...
FRUSTRATED
And, i can tell you EXACTLY why....
I DON'T LIKE TO BE INTERRUPTED!....not in a conversation, or in my movement, my train of thought, my goals, my processes...and when i cannot make my artwork...that is EXACTLY what is happening on EVERY LEVEL...my artwork is part of my being, my ability to communicate, my ability to think, to be, to breathe...and when that isn't allowed to flow..i do not feel alive...at all...in fact i feel quite grumpy, angry, suffocated, and drained.
i have spent a GREAT deal of time feeling this way...which is an "ah-ha! moment"....
because, if this is the case, and it often is...and if i find myself just wanting to create more often than not...then it is up to me to do what it takes to be able to do that...right?
and what are the things that stop me?
more often than not, it is my perception of what i think other's expect of me....
and that is the thing isn't it?
my PERCEPTION....which is JUST a THOUGHT....and easily changed...which i CHOOSE...
i have made a personal commitment to be willing to make the hard decisions that allow me to make room for more peace in my life...and part of that..is making more artwork...
This should be interesting...
Sooooo? how about you?
How do you feel when you aren't making your art?( I would love to hear your response)
but better yet.....
What are you going to do about it?
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