Urban gardening

One of the first things I knew I wanted to do when we made the move from the city to the burbs, from apartment living to a house with a yard ...was to have a garden. 

Gardening is in my soul. I can't say I have  a green thumb. But I can say that from my earliest memories, I have felt a connection with nature, plants, the sky, the trees around me. There is a holy presence in all of it. Growing things is on par with creating. And creating is, in my opinion, one of the closest acts we can get to a connection with Spirit.  

There are so many reasons to garden.

1. Growing your own food is inspiring.

2. Gardening is a great way to connect with your children. It is important for our kids to understand where their food comes from...especially before it is processed and turned into some weird product that doesn't even resemble real food anymore. 

3. Growing your own food, even if it is just herbs, is a beautiful experience. It is truly an amazing act of science, nature, and a miraculous events to witness a plant come from a tiny seed.

4. Gardening has a natural calming affect....trust me, if you feel like crap, just go walk through a garden, or in nature, and you will feel better.

We live in a time where most of our grocery isles are filled with items that aren't even "real" food....which is very sad...and i have to wonder, WHY?

I garden because I love gardening....but I also garden because it is imperative to me that my children grow up with this, if nothing else, in their memory banks, with the hope that as they grow up, they will also remember the importance of growing real food as well....

Hashimoto s autoimmune

This was me about a month ago. 

The thing about Hashimoto's is you never know when it will hit.

 As I told a friend this week, I don't like to make a big deal about this stuff....I truly believe that we don't want to feed the fire of negativity and that staying focused on the positive is the way to go. But I have also come to the understanding that on those days when I am getting slammed with this autoimmune crap, it is simply best to be honest with people. Simply telling people, " I am not do....(insert whatever activity)....today because...(insert whatever it is throwing at you that day) and explain the facts" usually does the job. 

I have had several people email me in the last few weeks about their own struggles with this autoimmune issue. I don't have all, if any answers at all. I too am just figuring this stuff out. Years of ignoring my own physical needs and simply "pushing through" meant that I did very little research on this issue for myself., until now. And admittedly, now, I have found so much contradictory information out there that I am still sorting through it all as well.

  HOWEVER, the things I do know, and have been forced to learn, is the importance  of being kind to myself, doing what I can to get back to perfect health, and listening to my body when it is crashing.

 In the past I would push through, ignoring the signs and tell myself to get over it and take care of business....now, I have to force myself to rest. Resting has never been a luxury I felt I could afford. Now, it is a requirement. But, I still have to mentally "allow" myself to do it...

New Faces

I'm not sure where these faces are coming from.....wait...that's not really true...sometimes I just don't really enjoy talking about where my work comes from because it is so personal...that's all..It's that whole "fear of judgement" thing...but the truth is, these faces have been coming up in my drawings for years...decades really...I should dig up some of my really old stuff from middle school, high school, and college...of course, back then, I was doing the dough-eyed girl paintings and drawings...which in retrospect were my way of showing a since of wonder or innocence....these faces...eyes closed...some with flowing hair...some no hair at all and glowing auras are more about turning inward...finding peace...radiating stillness to the world around them...

The day after....days after a show

So, it is Monday....I had an art show this weekend. We had beautiful weather and it was in a beautiful city square. I got to paint some, enjoy some herbal tea, gourmet popcorn, Oreo rice crispy treats from a bake sale to support local dancers, and the company of my amazing son and good friends...i even saw a friend from my first teaching job in east Texas. (such a treat!)

Today, I am home with my youngest, (as usual)...i'm a SAHM....but today we are huddled up and watching cartoons...no going to the gym, no local playroom, no running around or simply enjoying the back yard...

Why?

1. my youngest is not feeling well...
we spend a lot of time outside these days, and allergies seem to be hitting her big-time...stuffy nose, coughing...possibly a cold...but, she doesn't feel well at all...so that is enough to batten down the hatches...lots of honey-ginger tea is being consumed this morning....

2.I'm still recovering from Saturday...

Yes, RECOVERING....

Why? (you may ask...or maybe not...) Why would i need to recover from such a great art event?

Well, a couple of reasons...

First off:  I am a major introvert....so being out in a public  forum, interacting with people...seriously wears me out...this is something i am owning up to and embracing these days. It used to be a huge source of confusion not only for myself, but for others. (and still is for others at times)...but, as an introvert, large crowds, talking to people in any capacity, answering questions, putting my artwork out for people to eye and judge...is sheer exhaustion...and i happen to know that it is like this for several of my artist friends...it's an energy thing...it takes a great deal of our energy to make the work in the first place, but to deal with everything else, almost sends our systems into failure..

Second off: Autoimmune disease kicks in big time after times of stress....like being out in public, talking to people, etc....so, all day yesterday, i felt like i got hit by a bus....my brain hurt, my body felt like i had the flu, but mostly my brain hurt...and all i wanted was to take a nap or simply relax...which didn't happen despite great effort otherwise....

So, today,I am taking full advantage of setting some boundaries with my personal energy. Today i'm not answering my phone, text messages, or pm's ....I've already gotten a few, and I will just have to get back to them later. Today is about recovering my energy and getting back into balance. Otherwise I know I will be useless the rest of the week.

Why? Because this is part of my commitment to perfect health...understanding my own limitations and doing what is necessary to be healthy so I can take care of my family.

This is a skill I was first introduced to by a dear friend of mine who is my mental guru when it comes to taking ownership of one's health, knowing one's limits, and setting boundaries in order to insure one is at their optimal health standard. The first time she told me to set boundaries for my health was when i first started teaching. I simply could not wrap my head around this. I was stuck in the idea that I had to take care of everyone else first and myself last. It has taken me years, and the development of this autoimmune disease to finally "allow" myself to simply say, "no" or, "i can't do that."





Sometimes people get upset when I say " no" or "i can't do that"...and I have come to realize, that this  is their issue to deal with...not mine...I no longer worry about that...easier said than done at times.

But today is all about recovery...for me and for my youngest....
ginger tea with honey...cartoons...juice...healthy food....rest...and later some yoga...

It is imperative that we do what is necessary to be healthy....when we are ill, or simply don't feel good...that is the way our body tells us we need to rest, and need to  take care of ourselves...

A few minutes for me

where does my work come from?

I have done a lot of work....sometimes I get the urge to make all kinds of stuff. my head gets full of creative possibilities...so much so that i feel like i could just burst! I know that in my lifetime i will never complete all of the projects in my head... but that is neither here nor there...

Where does my work come from?

After much hemming and hawing...dabbling in various styles, genres, and subjects....the work i am the most connected with all comes from a very emotional place...a place that is all about the effort it takes to simply "be present" no matter what...to push through the darkness and face the sun...

And because my work is based on simply being present, I create from what i know, experiences i have had, life I have lived. I have had to make peace with this through the years. Sometimes it can be straight from the heart and leave me very drained from thinking too much about it...Sometimes, it can make me laugh, as i think of the beauty in each moment. This is what i do. Sometimes people understand it when they look at it...usually those kindred spirits who are looking for meaning and feel the empathy necessary to relate to some of my work.  And then, sometimes people just don't....awww...such is life...

Like, I said, I have done a lot of work...the problem is...when it doesn't come from the heart....or the place in my soul that needs to be freed, it simply doesn't resonate....it is just a drawing...it is just a painting...it is just a design project...with no heart, soul or feeling...it is meaningless...i choose to create work with soul...work with emotion...work that reminds me, if no one else, the importance of simply "being present."