why i took a hiatus from art shows and sales

 So, I have gone through spells in the past where i just felt really out-of-it as far as making art. I suppose it was one of those existential moments or something.

But this time...it isn't...this time i'm taking a break from making art and participating in shows for a few concrete reasons...

1. Because I haven't been making the work i really want to make....In a way i sold out my soul...not because anyone made me feel like i had to...but because i felt like i had to...as in, i had to make work that was "salable, commercial" well at least compared to what i really have in my heart...i've spent a lot of time seeing what artists i admire are doing and seem to be doing to sell their work on a regular basis...so, i tried to do the same...the result, was mediocre work that i did not believe in at all...it wasn't sincere...it wasn't "me"...it was just stuff....it[wasn't awful stuff...it just wasn't sincere...and it wasn't me...

2.Going to art shows and sales is exhausting....physically, emotionally, spiritually...it involves heavy lifting, packing and unpacking, social interaction (which is exhausting by itself for an extreme introvert like myself) and is always a huge gamble....you may or may not have a good crowd who may or may not be buying and may or may not be interested in your work... it is a potshot at best...there seem to be artists who are great at this kind of thing. I admire their ability to shmooze customers, their salesmanship, their ability to do business...that isn't me...when i leave a show i need a week to get over it...it is physically like i got hit by the flu every single time...which affects not only me but my entire family...which makes it not worth my effort simply based on this alone...

3. Not a money maker: so, as i said, there are artists and artisans who are amazing at making moo-laa at art shows. There are a lot who have also confessed that for them, going to art shows is really just a way of advertising yourself and not about making money at all. I totally get that. I think it is a great way to look at it.  For a person like myself who does not want to talk all the time, or explain for the millionth time what a piece means...(yeah, i know that is a bad attitude...sorry, but it is true...) going to art shows has to be a money maker, otherwise it just isn't worth all of the effort....i came to the conclusion that the amount of stress+effort/energy going out+time consumed did NOT equal the non existent money coming in...in fact i was lucky to break even... i also figured out that i actually brought more money into the family coffers simply by being a substitute yoga teacher...and if you teach yoga...you know just how little that is and due to my limited amount of time i am available...it is even less than it could be...

So, these three things alone are why I took a break from participating in art shows...

I could share some of my stress inducing nightmare stories ,but i won't...the three reasons i listed are nightmares enough...

I have had several artist friends asking me when I will be "back".  I'm not sure. There are a few shows i'm looking at.  Maybe this month...maybe never. I really have no idea, right now.As ever, I'm still processing. It might change tomorrow. Who knows? I certainly don't.  I just going with the flow of life and seeing where I land right now...