Wednesday, June 30, 2010

making new routines

so, i resigned from my job as a public school art teacher....a very scary decision...especially in this economy...

but we are having a new little one this fall...and in weighing the pros and cons...found that no matter what, things were going to be uber tight in the financial department...so, when it came down to it...this was the final push i needed....to just quit....with the cost of childcare...i was going to bring nothing home...that and the fact that maternity leave would take out 3 months worth of salary...and i didn't get disability this year...so, either way, in the finaces, we were screwed...

so, i quit, because if i was going to have to work and be poor, i would rather stay home and know my child and be poor...

i had been feeling burned out for a while now...but never entertained the idea of not teaching art in public school because teaching was "safe"...a monthly paycheck...insurance...same schedule as my kiddo...

i had been wanting to go a different direction artisticly...as in, do my own work for a while to sell and try to make a living...rather than making money by showing people how to do the things i wish i had time to do....

as much as i hate to admit it...teaching other people, zaps my soul....and not necessarily teaching other people...but teaching other people that don't really want to learn what you are teaching....people just biding their time because it is rquired to graduate....

if i were teaching people that really wanted to be there...i know i would feel differently...i had those kinds of people...but they, in all honesty, got overshadowed by the latter....and after 7 years, it was hard to keep my spirits up....

they say that most teachers average 7 years...i never thought that would be me....but it is...

last fall when i had to go back to work, i cried almost every single day for the first month....i was miserable...the kids were fine...i couldn't ask for a better school to work in...it was just me...and that isn't fair to the students....

so, here i am today...starting over...

i still have to work...i just have to work from home...

i started an Etsy Shop...and slowly i am getting it together...
A friend has been very helpful in telling me what works best for her...she is a SAHM and artist as well...and i can't thank her enough for her helpfulness....she has some major good Karma coming her way....

i'm working on designs for my zazzle and cafepress accounts....and right now...right now...lining out fall craft fairs....

fear is a huge motivator for me....

the baby is due in august...so i'm trying to get all of this stuff taken care of right now....

it is getting harder and harder by the day of rme to move around....my back hurts all the time now...my hips are killing me...and sleeping a full five hours...laughable...i get , maybe, 3 hours at a time...training for when the baby gets here....

and I am working, a little at a time...get things lined out in theuniverse for when she gets here...and i know longer get a regular paycheck....yes, i am scared...but excited about it too...

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