Friday, August 24, 2012

Time and Lotuses



    The last few weeks have been full of weirdness and change. Kids are growing up too quickly. Jobs are changing oddly.  Old things are fading, New things are blooming. I suppose, it is just called Life, isn't it? 

For me, finding time to work on my artwork means, it has to be convenient, and inaccessible to sticky,curious, little fingers...I find that I have to break the process up into steps or phases...bits and bites that i can come and go from as time allows..
This morning I worked on these lotuses, applying the flowers with water soluble graphite and watercolors. The backgrounds were made a few weeks ago. I had no idea what I would do to finish these. I'm not sure these are quite finished yet.  Sometimes I just have to work and see what happens.
The Lotus image is something i have been working with for about 5 years now. Though I admit, it was only used on work for myself. Only in the last two years have i felt safe (?)....no that's not quite right... confident (?)....not that either...but something along those lines that allows me to put these out into the world...I think it is the fact that i enjoy making them that had me a bit confused about whether or not to put them into the world...I know...that sounds weird...but, when you understand my artistic history...you might understand my confusion...
In the past..i associated my artwork with feelings oh sadness, depression, and unhappiness...Many artists understand how much easier it is to create work from a dark place than from a place of light...the idea that one's work will seem hokey or silly when it comes from a place of light often stops people from creating such. 
But, in recent  years the idea "do that which comes easiest to you and gives you joy" has been playing in a loop in my head... and here we have the Lotus.  
I suppose some artists have "their thing" that they do that identifies them...i can honestly say i have never known what mine was...or is...Is the Lotus mine? I have no idea. But for now, I am allowing myself to enjoy them. 


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