Chuh-chuh-chuh-chu-anges......

So, I am learning.....slowly....oh so slowly....baby steps...


This is how i have to do things... a step and learning experience at a time...i have to chew the fat....a bit...and then move on....


that's how i feel about my artwork right now....


the last year, i have been trying to make artwork that is more, commercial....?...


and in the end, have managed to make artwork that is not what i really feel comfortable with....


i mean, it's ok......


but, it isn't me....


it just me trying to make something to try and get some money....that's the truth...


and in the end.. i haven't really sold much of anything....


so, i've been spinning my wheels...


so, i've come to the conclusion, that i need to get back on track...and go the path that i need to stick to...and get back into the artwork that i really feel connected to....


i'm not an illustrator....i've tried....and i can do it...but when i do it...i know in my gut, it isn't what i am supposed to be doing....it isn't the artwork that is coming from my soul....


it's just stuff i do....


and it's not what i'm supposed to be doing....


i'm the kind of artist that needs to feel and emotional connection with my work....like i have to work out some idea....or something...


i guess my art has to be like some sort of therapy....maybe...i dunno...


but, i can't just constantly do art for the sake of making something pretty...it just feels completely false for me....for me.....


it's fun for me to make pretty things sometimes...i mean, let's face it...i like to make stuff....


but, when it comes down to what i want to put out in the world....i need to feel like it is real and that it makes a connection...or makes people think....or question...and that isn't what i have been making the last year.....


and it is time to get back to it.....


starting...LAST WEEK.....

Birdie in a great Etsy treasury!

http://www.etsy.com/treasury/MTA5Mzk0MDB8NDE3OTIxMjc4/cant-look-away

from the studio

Finding your art

I have and most likely always will, struggle with the type of artwork I should make....it is a daily emotional tug-of-war....seriously....

As a child, if found joy in drawing ball gowns...in middle school a papier mache mermaid was a high point in artistic development. In high school, dancers,circus scenes,models...then came college and I lost all confidence...like we do...

I began to question what I was doing...what was the point...and began digging deep for imagery..and struggled with it all emotionally..and it was so unpleasant to talk about my work in critique...

A few amazing things happened...

I started to understand shading .....
I fell inlove with printmaking, and drawing, ceramics, and sculpture...
And I started thinking about th creative influences I had had since childhood and wondering how I could use all of this knowledge.

Today, how many years later...I am drawing mermaids and fairies...playing...I am not struggling with "what are you trying to say" with this work....I am just making the work for the sake of making it...and it gives me joy....

Isn't it funny how sometimes,how the things that brought us joy in childhood,bring us joy today?

I may not get invited to show in an art gallery with this work...but I don't seem to be in that loop anyway...so, I might as well enjoy the work, if nothing else....