Hashimoto s autoimmune

This was me about a month ago. 

The thing about Hashimoto's is you never know when it will hit.

 As I told a friend this week, I don't like to make a big deal about this stuff....I truly believe that we don't want to feed the fire of negativity and that staying focused on the positive is the way to go. But I have also come to the understanding that on those days when I am getting slammed with this autoimmune crap, it is simply best to be honest with people. Simply telling people, " I am not do....(insert whatever activity)....today because...(insert whatever it is throwing at you that day) and explain the facts" usually does the job. 

I have had several people email me in the last few weeks about their own struggles with this autoimmune issue. I don't have all, if any answers at all. I too am just figuring this stuff out. Years of ignoring my own physical needs and simply "pushing through" meant that I did very little research on this issue for myself., until now. And admittedly, now, I have found so much contradictory information out there that I am still sorting through it all as well.

  HOWEVER, the things I do know, and have been forced to learn, is the importance  of being kind to myself, doing what I can to get back to perfect health, and listening to my body when it is crashing.

 In the past I would push through, ignoring the signs and tell myself to get over it and take care of business....now, I have to force myself to rest. Resting has never been a luxury I felt I could afford. Now, it is a requirement. But, I still have to mentally "allow" myself to do it...

The day after....days after a show

So, it is Monday....I had an art show this weekend. We had beautiful weather and it was in a beautiful city square. I got to paint some, enjoy some herbal tea, gourmet popcorn, Oreo rice crispy treats from a bake sale to support local dancers, and the company of my amazing son and good friends...i even saw a friend from my first teaching job in east Texas. (such a treat!)

Today, I am home with my youngest, (as usual)...i'm a SAHM....but today we are huddled up and watching cartoons...no going to the gym, no local playroom, no running around or simply enjoying the back yard...

Why?

1. my youngest is not feeling well...
we spend a lot of time outside these days, and allergies seem to be hitting her big-time...stuffy nose, coughing...possibly a cold...but, she doesn't feel well at all...so that is enough to batten down the hatches...lots of honey-ginger tea is being consumed this morning....

2.I'm still recovering from Saturday...

Yes, RECOVERING....

Why? (you may ask...or maybe not...) Why would i need to recover from such a great art event?

Well, a couple of reasons...

First off:  I am a major introvert....so being out in a public  forum, interacting with people...seriously wears me out...this is something i am owning up to and embracing these days. It used to be a huge source of confusion not only for myself, but for others. (and still is for others at times)...but, as an introvert, large crowds, talking to people in any capacity, answering questions, putting my artwork out for people to eye and judge...is sheer exhaustion...and i happen to know that it is like this for several of my artist friends...it's an energy thing...it takes a great deal of our energy to make the work in the first place, but to deal with everything else, almost sends our systems into failure..

Second off: Autoimmune disease kicks in big time after times of stress....like being out in public, talking to people, etc....so, all day yesterday, i felt like i got hit by a bus....my brain hurt, my body felt like i had the flu, but mostly my brain hurt...and all i wanted was to take a nap or simply relax...which didn't happen despite great effort otherwise....

So, today,I am taking full advantage of setting some boundaries with my personal energy. Today i'm not answering my phone, text messages, or pm's ....I've already gotten a few, and I will just have to get back to them later. Today is about recovering my energy and getting back into balance. Otherwise I know I will be useless the rest of the week.

Why? Because this is part of my commitment to perfect health...understanding my own limitations and doing what is necessary to be healthy so I can take care of my family.

This is a skill I was first introduced to by a dear friend of mine who is my mental guru when it comes to taking ownership of one's health, knowing one's limits, and setting boundaries in order to insure one is at their optimal health standard. The first time she told me to set boundaries for my health was when i first started teaching. I simply could not wrap my head around this. I was stuck in the idea that I had to take care of everyone else first and myself last. It has taken me years, and the development of this autoimmune disease to finally "allow" myself to simply say, "no" or, "i can't do that."





Sometimes people get upset when I say " no" or "i can't do that"...and I have come to realize, that this  is their issue to deal with...not mine...I no longer worry about that...easier said than done at times.

But today is all about recovery...for me and for my youngest....
ginger tea with honey...cartoons...juice...healthy food....rest...and later some yoga...

It is imperative that we do what is necessary to be healthy....when we are ill, or simply don't feel good...that is the way our body tells us we need to rest, and need to  take care of ourselves...

routines, quirks, and methods

The older I get, the more I understand that there are a few things I have to have in order to get work done. I have read about other artists who have their little routines, quirks, or methods that help them feel centered. I never realized just how important my quirks, routines, methods, were to my process until I wasn't able to do them...(this is life with a two year old...adjustments must be made....)

While taking a much needed break, to contemplate how I could possibly get more work done...I came up with list of things I need in order to operate...


 1. A place to work. While I am able to work almost anywhere, and always carry supplies with me everywhere I go...(something i learned to do over 11 years ago with my oldest so i could take advantage of any possible moments of free time)...I find that I have gotten to the point where I need my own space to be able to create. In the last two years I have moved my "studio" from our formal living room that we never used (and we do now as the family den)....to the formal dining room. And now, I simply work wherever I can...whenever...But, this is no longer working out. I am desperate for my own space. I need the freedom of being able to come and go from projects without worrying that they will be ruined by the dog, or curious hands. I also need to be able to walk away from a project and come back. The freedom of having one's own space sounds amazing. I am currently renovating the garage...IN MY MIND....for my next studio space...either that, or i'm going to get rid of our clothes and move into our closet...desperate times call for desperate measure...

2. I need peace and quiet....when I am working on a project, it is like a form of meditation. I need to be free of interruption for a block of time in order to fully comprehend the process... (i'm pretty sure i'm going to have to either completely lose my hearing, or wear earplugs for the rest of my life for this to happen...)

3. I need limited supplies...when I have too many supplies to choose from, my brain gets overwhelmed by the infinite possibilities...so, I have learned to purposefully limit myself when that  that overwhelming feeling comes on. Usually limiting myself two three items max at a time. 

4. Time....I need time to myself that no one else has dibs on..... while I can get things done in that super-mom-multi-tasking sort of way, I do not enjoy it. I need time to myself to be able to fully focus. This is something I really struggle with as a stay-at-home-mom. My time is never my own. In fact the last few months that I have been working more, have been filled with great frustration for me because I have not figured out how to manage this yet. I am still working on it. 

5. Rest:I used to be able to stay up all night working on a piece...not anymore...I have to rest or my brain and body shuts down.  I feel mandatory nap times becoming more and more mandatory.

 6. Health: if I don't feel well, nothing will be created. So, doing yoga, eating balanced meals, resting, taking my vitamins, are all imperative to my creative process. 

7. My overalls: the overalls I wear are hand-me-downs from my father over 15 years ago. They are covered in paint and falling apart. I just realized it might be time for a new pair...