late night sketches (why?)

It never fails, that even when i'm exhausted, and the first to go to bed, i am always the last one to fall asleep. 

I used to get back on the computer and mindlessly read items of ridiculousness.

 Pure mindlessness. 

And, i realized i was just wasting my life. 

What did i want to do instead? 

So, i asked myself, "If i can't sleep, what could i do that would at least make that time, NOT a waste?"

The obvious solution for me...

DRAW

Why? 

Because there are days (as in, MULTIPLE) when i never get to sit down and do anything artistic....(i would say "creative" but that isn't true)...everyday is filled with some form of creativity..."artistic" creativity...that may be another thing...and maybe it isn't so much that i can't do something creative, so much as get into that "zone" which requires no interruptions...

My days are filled with taking care of my family,keeping a youngest from climbing on top of the fridge (which i seriously fully expect to deal with at some point), maintaining health, and if i am lucky, i can incorporate some art in there somewhere.

if I'm Lucky.....

So, it only makes sense that the very best time for me to get my artistic fix, is before i go to sleep...It is usually the last thing i do each day...usually...

i keep a stack of journals, an art bag, and a lap desk, beside my bed. 

I randomly pick up a journal and draw. There is no rhyme or reason. The idea is to purely just take a few minutes to draw.

The other point is to find that state of being, that meditative state, that allows me to zone out, clear my mind, and relax after the day's, well i would say "routine" but there is nothing routine about my days...(routine would be relaxing...)

Drawing, at night, is my therapy, my meditation, my shedding of the day to prepare for the next day. 

And rise again....

drawing quote of the day- keith haring

good morning

Today is the fifth anniversary of the first time my husband and I saw each other again after many years.... 

You see, we were high school sweethearts. Like the story goes...we moved on with our lives. But, one day, we were reconnected....
( i know, i get butterflies thinking about it too...still...giddy as well)


I'm not one to keep up with dates and stuff like that...I'm awful about it really.(especially with anniversaries and birthdays) Something about numbers just really does my head in...and in fact, i didn't even realize this was our fifth anniversary of seeing each other again (not even our wedding anniversary...lol...) until...well, YESTERDAY!....I'm still not sure exactly what made me think of it...

But, the movie version is:  high school sweethearts, lost touch, moved on with our lives, lived very different lives, and eventually reconnected 19 years later, and got married a year after that on the 20th anniversary of the day we met in high school, and have been together ever since...with the addition of our now, two year old who wears us out and makes us laugh every day, and my son has the best step dad anyone could ask for. Everyday I think about how blessed I am to be married to my best friend and the love of my life...

This morning, as I walked my husband and my son outside to say goodbye before they headed to school and work...I looked up and saw this sunrise...(pictured above)...I was overcome with gratitude...

1. because this has been the best, fastest, and most amazing 5 years of my life...there is something to be said when time literally flies by you and you can't recall a single awful moment....

2. because i get to share each day with my beautiful family...

3. What a gift to have this sunrise today....

We probably won't do anything special today. There won't be any romantic dinner, or a night out on the town. There won't be a weekend away, just the two of us. But, what there will be, family time together and the knowledge that we are all so blessed to be together.We know how  fortunate we are for many reasons. And that will be celebrated in hugs.

be grateful

sunday morning drawing sessions

Sunday mornings have taken on a new meaning for us.  Especially now that the youngest is so active...which is funny, to us...because she has ALWAYS BEEN ACTIVE...but, now, we have rediscovered the world of the fast food playground....judge me if you need to...this is survival!...and i am willing to do what it takes to maintain sanity...and right now, that means, taking advantage of an indoor playground that is free with constant cartoons and a table that I allows me to actually sit and draw. That's Right! I said it...TAKE ADVANTAGE....uh huh...i didn't stutter... now, granted, the cool , artistic, hipster thing would be for me to park myself in some hip coffee shop drinking my incredibly overpriced hot tea and enjoying the atmosphere of  other individuals running their online business from the free wifi, while blogging or painting watercolor scenes in my art journal...

BUT THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN!....

I have kids...they make noise...and need to run...

there is no "drink your chai and eat your cinnamon roll while drawing in your journal"...and i'm ok with that...for now, there is the indoor playground with the wacky coloured formica topped tables...my small journal and 5-10 minutes on uninterrupted time to sketch....

and

 I'll TAKE THAT!

late night sketches

sometimes, when i can't quite fall asleep. i get out my sketchbook...well, one of the twenty or so i have stashed in various places...and i sketch ideas for future projects, random stuff, write poems, ideas for stories, plan out events, or think of how to conquer the world...i'm good at that one...the planning part...follow through...maybe not...but, whatever...tonight, i'm sketching flowers and sun shapes...inspired by a recent commission..a commission that i am grateful for on many levels, but tonight it is because it made me think and inspired me...

live painting: What? What?

So people have been asking me what i do at these art shows i attend.

well.......

1. I meet amazing people!

2. I have 4 hours of uninterrupted(specificly by a dog needing to go out, or a lil one wanting to get into my supplies) to paint....FOUR HOURS!....i know, i wanna cry from joy when i type that...

3. I sell my work...not a lot, but some, enough to justify being there

Why do i do it?

1. so i don't go nuts!

2. i'm a stay at home mom....i seriously need to know there are actually other people/artists/art enthusiasts who are living a breathing and not just in my computer.

3. It's my "me time"...when i can get out and just be me....

I'm not trying to live "up" to people's needs or expectations...which is ironic, because in some ways, i really am "performing"...but at art shows, my "performance" of simply being who i am...is enough... and a huge breathe of fresh air...

4. Did i mention FOUR HOURS OF UNINTERRUPTED PAINTING AND CREATIVITY TIME?

 I am the kind of person who desperately needs uninterrupted creative time...i get that when i go to shows...i love it... 

big thanks to Harmony Witte for the photo!

a few pieces i worked on at Tree of Life Arts Festival this weekend...

acts of domesticity- DIY laundry detergent

So, with the birth of Pinterest, it is so much easier to find all of those nifty DIY home solutions... and like everyone and their dog...i too have made my own laundry detergent...i love it...i've actually been making some form of my own laundry detergent for over 12 years(off and on)..gasp...i know...12 years? ...yeah, it's true...but, this is the one i have been using for the last 3. It is actually the easiest recipe i have found. And i have seen so many of them, i'm not quite sure who to give credit. Seems like everyone,(and their dog) has their own tutorial, review...and yes...i'm about to enter this realm as well...lol...here goes:

DIY Laundry Detergent:

1 box BORAX

1 box Arm and Hammer washing soda

1-2 bars of you favorite soap (grated)
pour all into a storage container
mix well
use 1-2 tablespoons per load ( i use 2)

THAT's IT!

The thing that i do that i "think" might make it different for 'me' is the type of soap i use...i have seen recipes that tell you to use a bar of laundry soap...but i like to use what ever my favorite soap is at the time. Here is what i am using for the latest batch.

Sandal Wood and Naga Champa....I have always loved these two soaps and scents, they are also my favorite essential oils, and incense scents, so it just seems natural that i would use it in my laundry soap.

do that thing that comes easiest to you

http://www.etsy.com/shop/bradshawmeadows

This weekend, a dear friend of mine sat and talked with me while I painted.  And one thing she asked me resonated with me all weekend. 

"where do you get your inspiration?"

This question is a very hard one for me to answer with much specificity. 

Truth is, i find inspiration in everything....

EVERYTHING....

i wish i were exaggerating...but it is true...every single thing, moment, person, conversation, environment, etc....i see things i wish i had the time to expand upon or give proper alms to in the form of a painting, drawing photo, print, or sculpture...or even in some form of writing... EVERYTHING....truth is...it gets overwhelming at times...not just at times...in fact...most of the time...and that's why, in recent months...i am grateful to have had some somewhat serendipitous epiphanies, moments which have directed me to painting the lotus.

the words:

"that thing that is the easiest for you to do, THAT is what you are supposed to be doing."

This was said to me in person, and then i heard the exact same statement over and over again, in various places, until, i finally just gave in....and started painting the lotus on a regular basis...

You see, the reason i say, "gave in" is because i was in the mindset that art had to be difficult and multifaceted and there should be some sort of soul searching struggle in its' creation and in its' presentation....that painting simple forms wasn't real art...

Yeah, i know...

"why?"

(that's another story alltogether)

so about 4 years ago, at a teacher workshop, i was given a photo of a lotus, and an assignment to share with students. It was then that i actually got to paint simply for the joy of painting....

i still have that lotus...it was the first time i ever painted one...and it came so easily that this was what i thought of immediately...

In the time period that i started painting the lotus again...which i just realized was actually over a year and a half ago now...not the few months ago like i previously said (time flies)....i also started my yoga studies...and in that period came to understand more and more about the symbolism of the lotus... how the lotus has to push through the murky waters to rise above it all and face the sun...i love that idea...rising above all of the darkness and choosing to face the sun..how lovely is that? How delicate and yet full of strength and and beauty...i love this...

and so, for now..this is where my inspiration is coming from...

RISE ABOVE IT ALL!

Tree of Life Arts Festival! I'll be there!

40 things to draw

1. your feet
2. the lines around your eyes
3. that patch of grey hair at your temples
4. your morning coffee cup
5. the dog sitting beside you
6. your hands
7. your teeth
8. your glasses
9. the bunions on your toes
10. that walker your gonna need when you break that hip
11. the "wank-ah wonk-ah" horn on the front of you walker
12. those weird hairs you keep finding in random places...
13. the electric wheelchair you plan to have in the future
14. that dream vacation spot in your mind
15. your vision of a mid-life crisis
16. that convertible you are required to buy now
17. your stomach
18. the chocolate you have stashed
19. all the healthy foods you are supposed to eat
20. all the unhealthy foods you actually eat
21. two roads in a forest
22. that tattoo you put off in your twenties...(btw, it's time to get that)
23. all of the body piercings you wish you had gotten
24. all the body piercings you wish you had not gotten
25. your name
26. your vision of who you are
27. your vision of who you want to be
28. your vision of who you thought you would be at 20
29. things you want to do...NOW....then go do them...
30. draw what makes you the most happy, then, do more of that...
31. draw what is slowing you down from being happy...then, stop doing that...
32. draw the people that make you feel the best...and spend more time with them
33. draw the people that don't...and let them go...(you're 40 now...you don't have to feel bad about yourself anymore)
34. draw what you want to do the rest of you life...then do it
35. draw what you don't want to do anymore...then stop doing that...
36. draw cupcakes...cupcakes make everyone happy
37. draw butterflies and bubbles and unicorns and fairies...because you can....and you just want to ....
38. draw the most beautiful thing around you right this moment...there is always beauty around you
39. draw your idea of love
40. draw you

when things sell

Here is what happens when i sell some artwork:

Me: HOLY CRAP! I JUST SOLD SOMETHING!

Hubs: That's Great! Congratulations!

Son: What did you sell?

Me: Ummm, let's see...HOLY CRAP! TWO PIECES!?

Hubs: That's awesome! Congratulations!

Son: That's Cool Mom!

Lil girl:  destroys living room and says "YAY!!!!!!" 

advice to my 20 year old self

I turned 40...today....

I suppose it is normal to be all introspective, take inventory of your life, think about what you would have done differently, what you want to check off your bucket list...yadda yadda yadda...

and i think about who i am now...and where i am now...what i have done in my lfe... and i wonder what , knowing what i know now, i would tell my 20 year old self if i met her today....what do i with i had known then? or that someone had taken me by the shoulders, looked me in the eye and said with all of their heart....

so, here goes....



1. you are not stuck....you have the whole world at your feet...explore it...
2.who cares what others think of you...people are always going to get mad...even when you are killing yourself to please them...so don't worry about it...do what you know is right in your heart and for your spirit...you will never please everyone...ever...the best you can ever do is to please yourself...
3. don't try to live other people's lives....live your life...even when you are trying to live up to other people's standards...it won't be good enough...so live up to your own...why waste your life...?
4. travel more...see the world...there is so much to see and do...so many amazing people and places..see them...meet them...
5. go with your gut, the world may question you, but believe in yourself, always believe in yourself
6. fly, as much as possible...learn to fly, whether it is in spirit, in a plane, or simply because you are happy, FLY...people will try to grab you by the ankles and hold you to the earth...keep flying...they are scared, you don't have to be...
7.  remember that no one owns you...you belong to yourself...no one can control you unless you let them...if they are trying to control you, run very far away...very very far away...
8. when you are asked to run away, do it...you may not ever get the chance again...go for it...
9. be happy...when you feel unhappy, it is time for a change...allow change to happen.
10. there will be times when you question your ability to be a mother...it's gonna be ok...you are doing the best you can
11. There will be times when you wish you could change history...you can't...just keep going forward...what is meant to be will be...and if it is meant to be, it will most certainly come back to you..
12. go to the dr. and then trust your instincts
13. yoga....do lots of yoga....
14. trust yourself....always trust yourself...
15. take care of yourself...even when you think it is selfish...you have to take care of yourself in order to take care of everyone else in your life...
16. you can't do everything for everyone...
17. eat better, be healthy now...so you can be healthy later
18. smile, do whatever it takes to smile more
19. laugh as much as possible...laughter will set you free
20. pursue that dream...those who say you can't are afraid you actually will...


there is more...too much more, really...life takes you where you are meant to be...and in this moment, right here, right now, is where i am meant to be...just like you...wherever you are...

art and coffee- come see me!