searching for old work to justify my existence....

So, in the quest to not feel so guilty about what little i feel i have accomplished...i decided to go through a portfolio or two and dig out old work that could/should be documented and either burned or put up on Etsy...there is no more storing of crap work...and i came across a few things in the one portfolio i managed to go through...just a few...that is so sad, because i have a buttload of work somewhere...where is it?i do it and then forget about it, or squirrel it away to never be seen again...what is the point of that?what good is work that is hidden away? it seems that, it isn't meeting it's potential or fullfilling it's meaning in life if it is just stored away in some portfolio  or box in the closet....that is truly sad...

This  is an example of watercolor that i did for my students. we just took globs of watercolor and  astraw and blew the color around the make unusual shapes and then went back into the work once it had dried and created something out of it....I'm not sure my students really got into this project...but i could do it for hours...i could go back into this right now and work on it...i was tempted to yesterday, and then i realized that i didn't have the lng capacity due the the baby pressing down on me...and decided against it...soon though...very soon....

I'm trying take pictures that remind me i have potential...that i have ability...that inspire me to keep going with this and forget being fearful of faillure and letting people down....that's my biggest fear...letting everyone else down by being a faillure....

I can't help but wonder if other creative spirits feel the same way? Or is this just something that has been engrained in me from a  lifetime of feeling this way....i'm seeking out blogs and other artists, observing how they 'seem' to handle themselves in this economy, i'm reading all kinds of books about how to make a business of art...something i never got, the business aspect, and am trying to catch up on...i email and ask questions...and all i keep thinking is...."how do they do it?"

And then i look at the mothers out there who are doing this as well... HOW DO THEY DO THIS?....the juggling act?....they are brilliant...and they inspire me so....i can only hope i get this figured out...finally...